It will get easier to deal with time.ġ0 years from now you will be me. Wallow and be sad and any other emotions. She made you strong enough to handle this.
Trust in knowing your mom built the foundation of the woman you are and will continue to become. It sucks to have it happen like it did to us, at a time that seems was too soon, but it is part of life. It breaks my heart every single day, but I have slowly learned that is okay. I don't inundate him with a stories, but I do tell him certain things, stories of my childhood, family recipies etc. He never met his grandma, but he knows her. She was beautiful so non of this is a bad thing, but it does make it very very difficult to not break down some days. I look in the mirror and I look just like her. The hardest part for me has been seeing me grow into her. I still talk to her, although not always out loud. But I can close my eyes and visualize her. I don't need a telephone to hear her voice. And I always know what her answer would have been to any question I could possibly ask. I can't call her when I want to, but I can recall her in my mind. It is fucking awful.īut I will tell you that you will learn a new way of having a relationship with your mom. I'm not going to tell you it's all great. And so many times I needed her to be there. She want able to support or guide me thru motherhood. I was pregnant with my first child when she died (only 5 weeks pregnant). She was my rock, my best friend, my hero. She died February 12th 2006 at the age of 52. November 2005 my mom found out she had cancer. She must be very happy, because she lost all of her own family at a young age, and I know there was a hole in her heart for so many years. If there is a heaven, I'm glad because she must be in it, and she's been reunited with her sister, my grandparents and her aunts and uncles that she missed so much.
I was really looking forward one day to doing "old lady" stuff with her like going to cheap matinees, getting pancakes in the mornings and going to Wednesday night bingo. I am mourning not just the relationship we had, but the relationship we could have had. We used to laugh at Sheldon together on the Big Bang Theory now I can't bear to watch any of the 26 episodes we'd DVRed.Īt 26, I have my entire life ahead of me and I need my mom. She would go apple picking with us, and we would still cuddle together in bed. She went above and beyond for anyone, any time. She would go out of her way to a special Chinese supermarket to get our cat her favorite treat: Japanese bonito flakes.
Every Friday she would get me my favorite noodle dish. I would always do her hair for her because she loved how I straightened it. We had so many inside jokes, and so many memories.
My mom was my best friend, and I don't know how I will go on without her. She loved her one signature perfume that I started to wear years ago, too. She loved garage sales, and was handier around the house than my dad (she could fix anything with a butter knife). She loved makeup and often asked me to help her perfect a cut crease. She loved disco, and we would do "the bump" together to Donna Summer or '70s James Brown while dusting around the house. She loved I Love Lucy, Tastykakes and pork chops, and was a full, vibrant person before she got sick. She loved animals and never met a stray she didn't stop to help. She was strong and brave, and loved her children (my brother and I) more than life itself.
#Sorty your missing your mom in heaven skin#
She was beautiful with sparkling green eyes, olive skin and thick, glossy hair. My mother was selfless, thoughtful, caring, compassionate, and had a wicked sense of humor. In a way, I would have preferred they perform heart surgery in November even if she died on the table this way, she wouldn't have suffered through half assed "fixes" over the course of a painful 4 month period in the hospital. On Monday she died of the flu in the ICU, unresponsive and unrecognizable. So she just sort of languished in bed and only received half measures in care until we transferred her to a better hospital but by then it was too late. The oncologists didn't want to work on her because of the heart issue, and the cardiologists didn't want to work on her because of the cancer. My mom had a heart attack in November, and the doctors never fixed her because by chance they also found cancer.
0 kommentar(er)
